I Lied to My Husband… Just How Far Will You Go For Your Kids?

As a parent, our natural instinct is to protect our children. To make things easier and more comfortable in any way that we can. But where do we draw that line? At what point do we say  OK you have made this mess, now you must face the consequences? I made a mistake, crossed the line, let the “mothering” go to far.

I Lied to My Husband... Just How Far Will You Go For Your Kids? | DailyDIYLife.com

My husband is a very laid back kind of guy. Not many things ruffle his feathers. The one thing that does get him upset is the kids’ school work and their grades if they start slipping. He is very strict and I guess you could say he is hard on them about their grades and keeping their school work up and in good standings. When my youngest teen (8th grade) brought home his last term report card, I was the one he gave it to. Expecting to see honor roll or at least B’s and maybe a C or 2 as we were use to in the past, I was completely shocked when there was 2 D’s in 2 very major subjects. Initially, I freaked out just a little, then I took the time to talk with him about why he was having trouble in these 2 classes. He has never gotten a D before, so I figured maybe he was spending a little too much time on the computer, or over his friends house.

Knowing just how upset my husband would be to see grades like this, I took it upon myself to NOT show him this report card. I spoke with my son, giving him the chance to bring those grades up and fix the problem instead of letting him “face the music”. As a mom, all I could think of was him being upset, getting a stern, probably very loud talking to from my husband and then a grounding would follow. I didn’t want that to happen, so I basically let him off scot free. With the agreement that he would work hard and get the two failing grades back up to where they needed to be.

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Fast forward to the next term report card…

Those 2 D’s that I gave him the chance to correct, have now turned to 2 F’s ……. F! as in FAILING! I had no choice now but to give my husband the most recent report card. Hoping that he wouldn’t notice the previous term grades that I had never told him about in the first place. Well, that didn’t happen! He noticed alright and was furious !! As he had every right to be. After about an hour of me apologizing and really feeling terrible for leaving him out of this very important part of our son’s life, we managed to bring our tone back to normal speaking voices.

The result; my son was grounded until grades are improved. My husband had a talk with the teachers and my son about rectifying the problem. He is 14, and starting to become a little social butterfly like his mother. Friends and socializing has taken over his priorities and for that his school work is lacking.

[Tweet “Being honest is the only option! Even when you want to protect your kids. #Parenting @DailyDIYLife”]

If I had just been open and honest with my husband in the first place, those grades would have never turned to failing grades. Sometimes as a mom we want to be their friends. But when it comes to the important stuff, we have to take a step back and just be their parent. They will forgive us and probably appreciate it even more when they are older. I learned this lesson the hard way, but he has improved his grades and is back on the right track to finishing out the school year with the grades we knew he could get all along.


Have you ever lied, or not told someone something of importance to protect someone? Has it ever come back to bite you in the ass like it did me? Please tell me I am not alone here!


 

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8 thoughts on “I Lied to My Husband… Just How Far Will You Go For Your Kids?”

  1. You are definitely not alone and I have done this too over the years more than once I think. This is such a great and helpful article for parents raising kids Heather. Excellent!!!!!!!

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  2. Great article Heather! I think as parents, we are often times faced with such challenges. I remember hiding from their dad at times when I knew he would blow his stack and recognized after the fact I shouldn’t have. You raise an important topic here – one that should prompt us to think first before making decisions like this one. Even as my children are adults now, I still am faced with this issues like this one just on an adult level. I always share stuff with the hubby now…I think that’s the best route to take indeed!

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    • I agree, and I don’t think it ever goes away. We are never going to agree 100% with what our kids due, but as a couple we need to try to be unified with our spouse when it comes to the kids. As hard as that is at times. Thank you for your comments. I am glad I am not alone here!

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  3. Here from #HomeMattersParty
    Yes, I have, and yes it did bite me in the butt. As we tell our children, “Honesty is Always the best policy.” Goes for us Mamas too!

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    • I agree 100%. I am hoping that in the end the lesson he learned from this was not that a lie and sneaking is the way to go , but that a lie and sneaking has worse consequences than just telling the truth from the get go.

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  4. This is a post that many parents and couples need to read. I feel that it will benefit all of them. Even teens can benefit from reading this because they will know that they aren’t alone with having parents sticking together to do what they feel is best for them.

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    • We all want to be their friend too, and have them like us but at the end of the day I just showed my son how to be sneaky and lie about something that is very important. Sure, in the end I also showed him that it was NOT ok to do this and the consequences that went along with my actions. I just wish I had thought it through before deciding on a “solution” so quick.

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